S1E01: MINDSET AND YOUR INNER CRITIC
Listen, there’s nothing I enjoy more than the company of fellow authors. When the vibe is right, I can talk forever about writing, the business of writing, and how each of us approaches it.
Our conversations often dive into the mental game of writing. Not the physical act of siphoning words from our brain onto the page but the mental gymnastics we all do to psyche ourselves up for writing and sharing those words with readers in the loud and crowded space publishing has become. This is around the time when another topic comes up. An uninvited guest, if you will.
That uninvited guest is negative self-talk.
When we’re struggling to reach our writing goals and feel like there’s an invisible barrier holding us back, the first thing we start to do is neg ourselves. We neg our writing, we neg our writing process, we neg the industry, and how it perceives or relates to us — we get well into our feelings. Now it’s perfectly fine to acknowledge those feelings, but we can’t live in that space and prosper, friends. We need to move through them and let them go.
If you find that you’re spending a lot of time speaking negativity over your writing, it might be time to consider the impact that negative self-talk has had on your creative process.
Negative self-talk, also known as your inner critic, is the voice that whispers doubts and fears and can be a significant obstacle for many authors. This inner dialogue can manifest as harsh criticism that undermines your confidence and stalls progress.
But what if you could transform this adversary into an ally? Whether you're crafting intricate mysteries, exploring paranormal realms, or delving into the complexities of building a fantasy world to rival all others, overcoming negative self-talk can unlock a new level of creativity and achievement in your work.
The first major key to overcoming negative self-talk is acknowledging and confronting your inner critic.
Your ‘inner critic’ is that internal voice that constantly judges, criticizes, and scrutinizes every aspect of your creative output. It's a blend of thoughts and beliefs, internalized over time, that can be limiting and self-defeating.
While rejection is baked into the writing and publishing process, some of us get too comfortable with rejection and start to believe that the opinions of others are not just opinions, but truth. We twist ourselves into knots about writing. We start thinking we need to produce something “worthy,” “serious,” or “important,” which often leads to never finishing the stories we’ve started.
Almost every author experiences this - myself included.
Whether it's a symptom of being criticized earlier in our careers or education or fear of being criticized by editors, agents, or readers, we get stuck in that loop and constantly crave external validation. Our inner critic gets loud, and the impact on our creativity and self-esteem can be extremely damaging.
A lot of people believe the only way to move through these thoughts and feelings is to silence them completely. I disagree because it’s completely unrealistic. Telling your inner critic to shut up works from time to time, but sometimes, in fact, most of the time, we need to confront and examine that negative self-talk.
Figuring out how to manage your inner critic is crucial for creative and personal growth. The strategies to managing it are varied and can range from cognitive-behavioral techniques to more creative, intuitive approaches. The goal is to cultivate a more positive and supportive inner dialogue that encourages rather than discourages creative expression.
Getting to Know Your Inner Critic
So how do we do that? How do we cultivate a more positive and supportive inner dialogue that encourages rather than discourages creative expression?
Well, we gotta get to know our inner critic!
There's a distinct difference between the inner critic's debilitating self-talk and constructive criticism, but it’s often difficult for us to dissect in the moment.
Constructive criticism is objective, specific, and aimed at improvement. It's usually grounded in reality and comes with a sense of encouragement. For example, constructive criticism might point out a specific issue in a narrative or suggest ways to improve character development, always with the aim of helping the writer grow.
Conversely, negative self-talk is often irrational, generalized, and rooted in negative beliefs rather than objective facts. It's less about improvement and more about enforcing an unrealistic standard of perfection or undermining one's abilities. Understanding and acknowledging this difference is the first step in learning to silence or manage the inner critic effectively. Here are a few examples…
A Few Common Examples of Negative Self-talk:
I’m sure you’re well-acquainted, but here’s a few bangers…
Perfectionism: Thoughts like "This isn’t perfect, so it’s not good enough" or "I can’t show this to anyone until it’s flawless."
Comparison: Saying to yourself, "I’ll never be as good as [insert author]" or "Everyone else is more talented than I am."
Impostor Syndrome: Believing "I’m not a real author! I just play one on social media!"" or "Soon, everyone will realize I’m not as talented as they thought."
Catastrophizing: Thoughts like "If this piece isn’t successful, my entire career is over" or "One bad review means I’m a failure."
By recognizing these patterns, you can start to challenge and change them. Awareness is the first step towards developing a more positive and supportive inner dialogue that fosters creativity instead of stifling it.
The Impact of the Inner Critic
Let’s get more specific about why it’s important to recognize, challenge and change that negative self talk. The impact of your inner critic and negative self-talk is significant and well-documented. This negative internal dialogue can have a profound effect on a your psychological well-being and creative output.
1. Writer’s Block: Negative self-talk can lead to what's commonly known as ‘writer’s block.’ When you're constantly criticizing your own work, it can become challenging to think freely or express yourself creatively. This block is not just about a lack of ideas; it's also about the fear of executing those ideas imperfectly.
2. Reduced Risk-Taking: Creativity often requires taking risks and stepping out of comfort zones. A harsh inner critic can make you more risk-averse, sticking to 'safe' ideas and techniques rather than experimenting with new, potentially more rewarding approaches.
3. Mental Health Concerns: Persistent negative self-talk can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. In the context of creativity, this can manifest as performance anxiety, a fear of judgment, or feelings of inadequacy.
4. Impostor Syndrome: Many creative professionals struggle with impostor syndrome, a persistent belief that they are not as competent as others perceive them to be. This can be exacerbated by an overactive inner critic, leading to constant self-doubt.
Psychological studies and expert opinions reinforce these points. For instance, research indicates that self-criticism can activate the body's threat response, leading to increased stress and anxiety, which are not conducive to creative thought. Studies in cognitive psychology suggest that positive self-talk, on the other hand, can enhance problem-solving skills and creativity.
Moreover, the importance of a healthy mindset can not be overstated! Renowned authors, artists, and performers frequently share how overcoming their inner critic was key to their success. They advocate for self-compassion, a practice rooted in mindfulness and positive psychology, which involves treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding one would offer to a good friend.
While a certain level of self-critique is necessary for growth and improvement, it's crucial to strike a balance. When the inner critic becomes overly dominant, it can have detrimental effects on both the creative process and overall mental health. Recognizing and managing this inner critic is, therefore, an essential skill for anyone in a creative profession.
Strategies to Help You Manage Your Inner Critic
Now that you’ve identified your inner critic, let’s talk about strategies to help you manage that negative self-talk and shift it into something more positive. First, it’s important to realize that she ain’t the enemy!
That voice is just a misguided protector trying to shield you from disappointment or hurt. Understanding this can change your approach from combat to compassion. Moreover, managing your inner critic is not about completely silencing it but learning to recognize when it's not serving you and how to respond constructively.
It begins with self-reflection to gain awareness of your strengths, challenges, and opportunities for growth.
Here are seven ways you can begin to challenge and redirect your inner critic:
Talk to Your Critic: Instead of silencing or ignoring the critic, acknowledge her. Ask, “What are you trying to protect me from?” Often, it’s fear of failure or not being good enough. Recognize these fears and reassure yourself (and your critic) of your strengths and past successes. Remember, the Wordmaker Mindset emphasizes resilience and learning from challenges.
Reframe Negative Thoughts: When your critic says, “This plot is unoriginal,” pause and reframe it by asking: “Is there an opportunity here to deepen my plot or add a unique twist?” This mindset shift turns criticism into constructive feedback, focusing on improvement rather than self-reproach.
Celebrate Small Wins: Your inner critic thrives on perceived failures. Counteract this by celebrating every small win, whether it's nailing a difficult scene or just writing consistently for a week. These celebrations reinforce your strengths and gradually silence the critic.
Set Realistic Expectations: Perfectionism is the inner critic’s playground so start by setting realistic, achievable goals. This doesn't mean lowering your standards; it means recognizing and embracing the beauty of the writing process, imperfections included.
Foster Self-Compassion: Remember, writing is a journey, not a race. Be kind to yourself. The Wordmaker Mindset is as much about self-care as it is about productivity. Allow yourself time to rest and recharge. A well-rested mind is more resilient to criticism.
Seek Constructive Feedback: Sometimes, what we perceive as our inner critic may actually be an echo of our uncertainty. Seeking feedback from trusted peers or mentors can provide clarity and perspective. It also helps in differentiating between unfounded self-criticism and areas that genuinely need improvement.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness helps in recognizing when the inner critic is speaking and distancing yourself from it. Techniques like meditation or simple breathing exercises can help you stay centered and grounded, focusing on the present moment rather than worrying about potential future criticisms.
Overcoming negative self-talk is a vital step toward unleashing your full creative potential and improving your overall well-being.
While negative self-talk is a universal experience, doesn't have to dictate the quality of your creative life or your self-esteem. Recognizing and challenging this inner voice is crucial in fostering a more nurturing and supportive internal dialogue.
Also, it’s important to remember that change doesn't happen overnight. Nor is it permanent! Managing your inner critic is necessary, mindset shifting work. Hard work. Be patient and consistent in applying the strategies discussed. Whether it's through challenging and reframing negative thoughts, practicing mindfulness, or seeking external feedback, each step you take is a move towards a more positive and confident self.
Your creative journey is uniquely yours, and it deserves to be nurtured with kindness and encouragement. Embrace it with patience, persistence, and an open heart. Every artist, writer, and creator has faced their inner critic and learned to rise above it. You are no different. With time and practice, you'll find your voice growing stronger, your confidence firmer, and your work richer. Believe in yourself and your abilities, and remember, your creativity is a gift not just to yourself, but to the world.
Keep nurturing your creativity, keep challenging yourself, and above all, keep making those words.
xo, Tasha
Additional Resources
Here are some additional resources for further reading and exploration, as well as contact information for professional help:
Books
1. The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron: A classic book offering exercises and inspirations for artists and writers to overcome creative blocks and rediscover their passions.
2. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown: Focuses on the power of vulnerability in overcoming shame and self-criticism to embrace creativity and innovation.
3. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers: Offers practical advice for overcoming fear and developing confidence in various aspects of life.
4. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck: Explores the concept of "fixed" vs. "growth" mindsets and their impact on success, including dealing with criticism and failure.
